In a shocking development at Lalu Prasad Yadav's Parivartan Rally, 5 different supporters among thousands of Yadavs shouted at Lalu, calling him 'Pappa, Pappa' claiming him as their biological father.

India Satire Correspondent found a young dude, named Manoj Yadav calling Lalu as Pappa. Manoj shouted at Lalu "Pappa, pappa, I am Manoj Lalu Prasad Yadav, just look at me I am here. Yesterday only Mummy Shabri Devi told me that you are my lost Pappa. Pappa, look at me."

The surprised correspondent found 4 more Yadavs, Ajay, Vijay, Sanjay and Tapan claiming that Lalu Prasad Yadav is their father. All 4 reiterated similar words towards Lalu.

However, stubborn and emotionless Lalu ignored their claims and addressed the rally showing new dreams that he saw for the development of Bihar.

When correspondent talked to RJD Chief, asking about the entire saga, he said "Arey u sab 5 gudbag u Nitishwa ne send kiya hai. I was going to install my 2 sons in the party and therefore he sent 5 more."

Central and State level ministers are drawing detailed plan for exploring the ways to benefit from food security program to be launched for 67% of the population.

"We are trying to understand how we will benefit from this most populist program of the UPA Govt," said Deputy Secretary of a minister in the UPA Govt, requesting anonymity.

He said "We are writing all the probabilities and using scientific modeling techniques to derive strategies for making more and more benefits from this scheme. My minister has already opened a benaami account in his nephew's name in Switzerland."

The political developments took a speed after India's Food Minister KV Thomas said that food security bill will most likely be introduced in monsoon session. Though, the future is still bleak as the bill could not sail through the last parliamentary session, the minister is confident of achieving a deal with opposition parties before monsoon session.

"We don't have much time to work out on the complicated strategies, as the government is serious in introducing the bill as soon as possible. These days making money from various govt schemes is a bit difficult business. Authorities like CAG always keep close eye on us. RTI like schemes have also made matters worse. So we asked foreign IT companies to draw simulation analysis and reach out to a program which would create a scenario with less risk and maximum rewards," said a minister from the state of Maharashtra.

He said that BJP was still confused over how it would benefit from such a bill and the central govt could not give it any confidence that is why the bill was stuck up.

The India Satire bureau is pleased to announce dumbest person on the earth. Lucky chap is former Pakistan President Parvez Musharraf. The President won the race against India's UPA Government by a wide margin. The UPA Government took many dumb decisions during last one year. Apart from Musharraf and UPA Govt, India Satire Research Bureau (ISRB) considered more than thousand people across the world for this honour. However, both of them won by a meaningful margin.

The ISRB found Musharraf more dumb than the UPA Government on most important parameter. Impact of dumb decisions on the UPA Govt was just few bash from some social elements. However, for Musharraf he may be getting a big bash from his life itself on his dumb decision of coming back to Pakistan again.

Talking on becoming the first dumb person on the earth, Musharraf said "I am glad as India Satire honoured me as first dumbest person on the earth. I am really feeling proud for taking my country to new level. I am really thankful for India Satire for giving me such an honour which nobody has received till date."

Talking about which decision he thinks is the most dumb in his life, whether it was Kargill or coming back to Pakistan, Musharraf said "There was nothing to loose in Kargill decision besides lives of Pakistani soldiers. But with this dumb decision I think I will definitely loose my ass for next 2 years in Pakistani courts."

Mumbai based 5 year old Pintu pee in his pants after he saw posters of Aurangzeb, demonstrating vampirish and weird looks of new star Arjun Kapoor.

"Yes, my son immediately started peeing in his pant after watching Aurangzeb's poster when I was taking him to the school bus," said Pintu's mummy, Mehta madam.

She observed that Pintu started behaving weird immediately after he saw the upcoming movie's poster, just in front of his society's gate.

"He started screaming and came behind me and started crying. After that I saw his pant was wet. I immediately took him to home and cleaned properly. He told me that he frightened after he saw one uncle's photo that was looking like haunting man. I just assured that he was not a vampire but just an actor who looks like a cruel ghost so no need to worry," told Mrs. Mehta.

The India Satire found a last man in the world who still believes that behavior of Congress leader and General Secretary Digvijay Singh is reasonable and logical. Digvijay Singh, popularly known as Diggy Chacha in the political parlance stated yesterday that Supreme Court should give judgments and not observations. The statement increased doubts of unavailability rational brain and logical sense among people across the world. After an extensive search through night, finally India Satire got success in finding only one person who still believes that some logic has still left in Diggy.

"Yes some logic must be there in his brain. Unavailability of rational mind is totally impossible thing. As per various scriptures, God has sent us with some logic and that logic generally flows from our action, reaction, statements and any kind of bullshit behavior. Same way I believe that Diggy's statements make sense," said Kerala based JP Thomas who studied all the scriptures in the world, including religious books of Kongo, Uganda and Ethiopia.

While avoiding exact reason why he believes Digvijay Singh is still making sensible statements, Thomas said "I have observations about Diggy and that is my research work. I really can't disclose the findings but I want you also believe that. Even a donkey or an ass behaves logical. It has rational idea and thought process that my research work says. So it is not really impossible that one step up creature like Digvijay Singh doesn't have logical brain. I believe every creature including Amoeba (shapeless creature) has rational behavior and logical sense."

Pakistan's new Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif promised its country people that he would maintain status quo in the country and would never let people face any change in their life.

"I promise you my citizens that you will never face any change in your life so whether it would be on terrorism front or on corruption and religious matters you will see the same situation that you witnessed over last one decade. I promise you guys that I will maintain current status as it is for next 5 years. I promise all my darling people that this was the same Nawaz Sharif who headed you 2 decades back. I will maintain current rate of at least 50-60 monthly deaths in Karachi, Islamabad due to terrorism. I also promise that Balochistan will remain on fire for next 5 years. My promise to Jihadis is that they are welcome using their guns but would not allow to declare Sharia in Pakistan. Instead of Sharia they can kill 100-200 people on regular basis," said Nawaz Sharif in his address to the nation.

He said "My dear Pakistanis, I am same a**hole which left you a decade back frightening another nut Musharraf. I am the same old guy who would keep faith in Sunnis to vanish Shias from the world. I am the same old guy who will say something else in India visit and will say something different in Pakistan about India."

Talking about terrorism, Sharif said "Guys, I will keep my predecessor's promise to keep hanging all the issue of terrorism. I will never acknowledge that Pakistan has any given day exported terrorism to India. Guys, I promise you that steadily and gradually with vanishing some of you from the country through act of terrorism, I will control inflation and optimize all the economic resources. If any of you Shias, think that you voted me and would now rest in peace then forget that I will let you rest in peace for life by not controlling Sunni extremism."

He said "For Jihadis, I promise that I will keep Hafiz Saeed as nation's 'unofficial' External Affairs and Offence Minister and will provide him a 5 year long term budget rather than wasting money on health and education for Pakistanis."

Completing his commitment to the nation, Sharif said "With this I promise you all that I will keep the current status quo in the nation by remaining a truly liar and nut for next 5 years."