Published On:Sunday, 12 May 2013
Posted by Diggy Chacha

Nawaz Sharif promises Pakistani citizens to maintain status quo

Pakistan's new Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif promised its country people that he would maintain status quo in the country and would never let people face any change in their life.

"I promise you my citizens that you will never face any change in your life so whether it would be on terrorism front or on corruption and religious matters you will see the same situation that you witnessed over last one decade. I promise you guys that I will maintain current status as it is for next 5 years. I promise all my darling people that this was the same Nawaz Sharif who headed you 2 decades back. I will maintain current rate of at least 50-60 monthly deaths in Karachi, Islamabad due to terrorism. I also promise that Balochistan will remain on fire for next 5 years. My promise to Jihadis is that they are welcome using their guns but would not allow to declare Sharia in Pakistan. Instead of Sharia they can kill 100-200 people on regular basis," said Nawaz Sharif in his address to the nation.

He said "My dear Pakistanis, I am same a**hole which left you a decade back frightening another nut Musharraf. I am the same old guy who would keep faith in Sunnis to vanish Shias from the world. I am the same old guy who will say something else in India visit and will say something different in Pakistan about India."

Talking about terrorism, Sharif said "Guys, I will keep my predecessor's promise to keep hanging all the issue of terrorism. I will never acknowledge that Pakistan has any given day exported terrorism to India. Guys, I promise you that steadily and gradually with vanishing some of you from the country through act of terrorism, I will control inflation and optimize all the economic resources. If any of you Shias, think that you voted me and would now rest in peace then forget that I will let you rest in peace for life by not controlling Sunni extremism."

He said "For Jihadis, I promise that I will keep Hafiz Saeed as nation's 'unofficial' External Affairs and Offence Minister and will provide him a 5 year long term budget rather than wasting money on health and education for Pakistanis."

Completing his commitment to the nation, Sharif said "With this I promise you all that I will keep the current status quo in the nation by remaining a truly liar and nut for next 5 years."

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