Indian Muslims are confused over choosing one of the many secular parties, which represent them for their well being and against communal alliance NDA.

'Yes we are actually confused on choosing one of them. Whom do we chose? UPA, SP, BSP, Left, TDP, or whom, it is really difficult to decide. They should either consolidate themselves or threw out of the election battle. It's just difficult if you have so much of choice," said Abdul Hamid, a resident of Delhi.

Hamid said "All the parties I mentioned are claiming that they are the best representing agenda for secularism, though what that exactly supposed to mean that we don't know. Now I don't want to vote NDA so which party I have to chose is really a difficult task."

Many of them are really thinking about taking help from a representative of their problems. Young Muslims are not really confused as they will approach their representative. But old age Muslims are cautious.

"We are in talks with Mr. Chetan Bhagat who represents Muslim youth to understand his opinion. We will stick to his opinion and will vote whatever party he asks us to vote for. He is our representative," said Usmaan Shahid, a young Muslim in Mumbai.

Chacha Niyakat Khan said India Satire Correspondent "I don't like Mulayam's face, it is quite hard. But I am really confused over the UPA's credentials. Mayawati hasn't promised any statues or something in these elections and Left parties always look bemused and Nitish Kumar is newly joined secular. So now it is up to these people, how they distribute us among themselves."

Senior leader and General Secretary of Congress Party, Digvijay Singh announced special coaching classes on secularism. The batches will be held in all Congress branches with special video lectures of Digvijay Singh, aired from Delhi. For Delhi students, Digvijay Singh will personally give coaching.

"I am upset with the rising Hindu Terrorism and RSS activities in India. I want young boys and girls to master the art of secularism and evaporate communal entities like BJP, RSS from the country. The classes will take care of the aspirants who want to excel in secularism," said Digvijay Singh.

According to sources, the course will help mass population in India to label themselves as secular. The content will be comprehensive enough for the students to convert any event in day to day life to communalism. Congress Party also promises job after completion of the two years of course.

"Vanishing BJP is not on my agenda, as it would not give us a comfort of playing communal politics. My focus will be on connecting various issues to communal mindsets of the country," said Digvijay Singh.

Singh said "We also offer students a job of sweeper in the house and office of the most secular minds of India, Soniaji and Rahul Baba."

Syllabus of 'Rajiv Gandhi Art of Secularism'

1.     Basics Of Secularism

2.     Accounting Of Communal Parties

3.     Identifying The Communities Entitled To Get Bashing

4.     Master The Art Of Bringing Non-Linearity Of Communal And Secular Parties

5.     Logic Behind Communalism

6.     Logic Behind Secularism

7.     Connecting Each-N-Every Event To Communal Politics

8.     Road To Development Through Secularism ONLY

9.     Case Study Of Communal Mindset – Narendra Modi

10.  Case Study Of Half Hearted Seculars – Mulayam Singh Yadav, Mayawati, CPM & CPI Activists

11.  Case Study Of Secular Power – Rahul Gandhi

12.  Special Event – Guest Lectures Of Sonia Gandhi And Rahul Gandhi

A Times of India (TOI) article discussing about the role of Narendra Modi in Indian politics widely considered as politically biased and secular. Most of the comment writers pulled up legs of the article writer, TOI and UPA Government along with big shots like Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi and Manmohan Singh.

"This is a paid media," said Diggy Chacha, one of the comment writers in the article. Note: Only name resembles to India Satire's owner Diggy Chacha while personality differs. Chacha said "This is a paid media and secular also."

Other commentators which includes Platinum writer Pappu Pager said "The article writer is from the breed of intellectual dogs with heavy bias towards UPA Government."

Few commentators abused article writer by putting him on the stand of Nitish Kumar, Mulayam Singh and UPA Government's top notch leaders like Digvijay Singh by calling him 'Secular'.

"We are now becoming more and more secular country," said Rajan Sippy "It is real threat to the progress of the country."

Giving the reference of few political analysts in his comment, Sippy said that the 'secularity' is becoming more and more abusive word as any mentally retarded person could claim he is secular.

"Even Congress party claims that it is secular, ha ha ha," said Rajan Sippy.

In a shocking development at Lalu Prasad Yadav's Parivartan Rally, 5 different supporters among thousands of Yadavs shouted at Lalu, calling him 'Pappa, Pappa' claiming him as their biological father.

India Satire Correspondent found a young dude, named Manoj Yadav calling Lalu as Pappa. Manoj shouted at Lalu "Pappa, pappa, I am Manoj Lalu Prasad Yadav, just look at me I am here. Yesterday only Mummy Shabri Devi told me that you are my lost Pappa. Pappa, look at me."

The surprised correspondent found 4 more Yadavs, Ajay, Vijay, Sanjay and Tapan claiming that Lalu Prasad Yadav is their father. All 4 reiterated similar words towards Lalu.

However, stubborn and emotionless Lalu ignored their claims and addressed the rally showing new dreams that he saw for the development of Bihar.

When correspondent talked to RJD Chief, asking about the entire saga, he said "Arey u sab 5 gudbag u Nitishwa ne send kiya hai. I was going to install my 2 sons in the party and therefore he sent 5 more."