Sonia Gandhi's son-in-law Robert Vadra promised Indians that he would take all the efforts for a serious makeover in Rahul Gandhi. He told reporters that he will ensure Rahul will look like professional and not like any dumb politician.

"I have decided to take all the efforts on Rahul. He would be behaving like a formally aggressive and professional businessman. He would mean business and he can commit abnormal returns to the Indian stake holders. He can claim all poors that their wealth can reach from 100 rupees to 100000 rupees within 3 years, just like a businessman," Vadra told reporters.

Robert Vadra has himself converted from aam aadmi to millionaire after marrying Rahul's sister Priyanka Gandhi, with huge hard work and great smartness. His growth has been covered in the 2012 issue of Harvard Business Review.

He said "I am just transmitting my smartness into him so that he will be more intelligent, aggressive and fast mover than a lethargic sloth.

Congress party leaders welcome his move and said that at least Robert will make some improvement in Rahul.

"I am literally tired of teaching him. For past 12 years since I took temporary retirement, he has not learnt a single word. Now if Robert is going to train him then I will be the most relieved man in the world," said Congress General Secretary Digvijay Singh.

Following the lines of successful Parliament session on Wednesday, Times Now Anchor Arnab Goswami decided to meet all the panelists 1 hour before the debate so that it would reach to at least some conclusion. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Monday had called opposition leaders LK Advani, Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley requesting them to stop shouting and rhetoric so that session would be conclusive and passes at least few pending bills.

"I am inspired. I am inspired the way UPA Government shut the mouths of its opposition leaders, cleared the pending Pension Bill and took the entire session to some final result. So, without politicizing it I want to call all the panelists in front of me before the debate starts and ask them to accept whatever I comment upon or whatever judgment I give without shouting or creating noise. I want to make every debate achieve a final result," said Arnab Goswami.

Arnab is charged for creating unnecessary rhetoric and pushing some inconclusive debates on his audiences. Many have committed suicides just because he could not reach to any conclusion and let the question remain unanswered.

"That's ridiculous. My Pappa had a severe heart attack a day before when he was waiting for a result in Vanzara's letter debate. He thought that panelists would agree at least on a point that either Modi should be arrested or Congress is creating conspiracy against him, but the entire debate on Vanzara's letter was utterly confusing and indecisive," said Pappu Pandey who along with his father everyday watches News Hour on Times Now with a lot of hopes.

Arnab refused to take blame on himself that he is not competent to carry the entire debate and reach to a point.

"I don't agree that I can't carry out debates properly. It is the panelists who don't accept my remarks. They only dodge and divert my attention to something else. Therefore, I have decided right now to manmohan (meaning: to meet) all panelists before the debate and strictly ask them that even if they want to shout during the debate they are allowed but all of them will have to agree whatever I am saying and reach to a point that I give. Why can't they bjping (meaning: to reach at a conclusion even if you don't agree)?"

Many Indians found resemblance to P Chidambaram's position to DG Vanzara. While they are aware that P Chidambaram is not in jail, they also believe that Chidambaram would have felt good if he was in jail.

"Ditto situation! Whatever Vanzara said in the letter about fake encounters, same thing is happening with P Chidambaram in rupee's fall and country's deteriorating economic conditions. Don't know when he will resign from his job," said Pappu Pandey, a Mumbai based Equity Analyst.

Experts said that recent fall in rupee from 55 to 68 have mostly been blamed on P Chidambaram apart from policy paralysis of the government. Therefore, they expect him to resign anytime soon.

"He may resign from his post, blaming rupee's fall on Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi and possibly Narendra Modi. I know he would never want to be at same post if UPA Government gets third chance," said Political expert Yogendra Yadav.

India Satire correspondent's query to P Chidambaram was unanswered.

In a move which may have far-reaching consequences for the Narendra Modi, India's Finance Minister P Chidambaram, tendered his resignation on Wednesday accusing the Gujarat chief minister of betraying the nation by dumping the rupee.

P Chidambaram has saw one of the worst slides in the rupee from 55 rupees to 68 rupees and still it is not strengthening.

Blaming everything on Narendra Modi, P Chidambaram said "Rupee is actually falling because of Narendra Modi. He only ordered it to fall sharply so that this lame duck UPA Government will also fall. I am observing this slide since he was informally announced as a Prime Ministerial candidate. I don't know what will happen to trade deficit, fiscal deficit and rupee if Modi is formally announced as a Prime Ministerial candidate for BJP."

In his 35-page resignation letter to Prime Minister Chidambaram said that he has not remained any confidence in future developments and afraid if BJP announces Modi as PM candidate what will happen to the entire economy.

"This spineless UPA government, which is valiant only in words, otherwise coward in deeds and impotent in actions, has ceased to command my allegiance, trust and loyalty for not stopping Narendra Modi to reach to PM's post," he has written in his resignation letter. 

Indian media reacted positively on suspended Gujarat Deputy Inspector General of Police D.G. Vanzara's emotional and touchy resignation letter accusing Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi's involvement in fake encounter case. Most of them congratulated each other, distributed sweets and threw late night parties.

"Great day! Just having fun tonight with my Old Monk. Bored with same old stories like rapes, social issues and UPA scams but now the new life and new hike in packages with most lucrative issue called Narendra Modi," said Rajdeep Sardesai, Chief Editor of CNN IBN.

"Whooopi! Bored of same old intellectual and sensible things for many days… thanks Vanzara, you stay there in jail and we shall stray on the roads of Gujarat. (On Twitter) Now get lost you troll Internet Hindus," Sagarika Ghose of CNN IBN.

"We had the copy of Vanzara's letter since 2002. That time NDTV was the first one to show it in media," said Srinivasan Jain of NDTV.

"Good collections this quarter. Increase ad rates and work hours," said owner of TOI, Vineet Jain.

"He could have settled it for 2-3 crore rupees, miser," said Tehelka's Neeta Tejpal.

"Nation demands an answer Mr. Vanzara, why are you writing such a long 10 page letter now, after 10 years," Arnab Goswami, Times Now.

India was always a passionate country about romance and love. But sometimes there are over passionate people who cross limit of subtle romance and start thinking only about sex. They are desperate sex animals who use their position and power to fulfill long lasting desire and greed for sex. India Satire Research Bureau has found out top 4 such raunchiest sex crazy human animals.

No. 4 Swami Nithyananda

One of the most controversial spiritual gurus of India in the recent times. At least more than millions have watched him hugging and kissing a woman while watching television on the You Tube. It is yet to be confirmed by him whether it is simple technique for salvation. Also this kind of technology is only available for women. One girl has accused him for rape for 5 years from 2004-2009. Nithyananda has given himself a clean chit.

No. 3 Abhishek Manu Singhvi

In 2012, there was a sex tape released of Abhishek Singhvi where allegedly he was seen having sex with a senior female lawyer. The Delhi High Court restrained a media house from publishing, telecasting and broadcasting the contents of the sex tape. Singhvi claimed that such a CD either does not exist or if it does, it is clearly and obviously morphed, fabricated and forged. Later, on 18 April, Congress party, the party to which Singhvi belongs released a statement declaring that the CD was a personal matter of the senior lawyer. On 19 April the video went public on Facebook, YouTube and other social networking sites. Singhvi then blamed social media sites for sensationalism and claimed an organised gang was involved in broadcasting CD contents despite a court injunction. On 23 April 2012 he quit as chairperson of Parliament Standing Committee on Law and Justice and as the Congress spokesperson. He rejoined the party again after Congress leaders conveniently thought people forgot his case.

No. 2 Asaram Bapu

Asaram Bapu is India's second most sex starving animal of India. Even at the age of 72 his lust for sex is not satisfied and still searching. He loves rape and asked rape victims to call bhaiyaa to rapist, give them respect, bow down in front of them and chant Hanuman Chalisa. These days his fascination is for juveniles, which are at the age of his great granddaughters. ISO-9002 approved sex hungry animal with proven potency by country's leading hospitals.

No.1 Narayan Dutt Tiwari

Narayan Dutt Tiwari (ND Tiwari) an inspiration to all mentioned above and many more in India. The most perfect brand ambassador for Viagra in India. He is an Indian politician affiliated with the Indian National Congress party. He was thrice Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh (1976–77, 1984–85, 1988–89) and once Chief Minister of Uttarakhand (2002–2007). In 1986–1987, he served in Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi's cabinet as Minister for External Affairs. He was serving as Governor of Andhra Pradesh from 2007 until 2009, when he was forced to resign following a sex scandal.

He is alleged to be involved in a sex scandal that began with the broadcast by Telugu language satellite news channel ABN Andhra Jyothi of a video that allegedly showed Tiwari in bed with three women (teenage girls) at his official residence in the Raj Bhavan. At the time of the shoot, Tiwari was just 84 years old. This hunger for sex has always been referred as inspiration in India's porn industry that is fascinated by all the above 4 people. Tiwari is also proved as a biological father of Rohit Shekhar. 

Most of the Indians celebrated yesterday night the news that Asaram Bapu is not impotent. People came on the street and started dancing and singing on the tunes of various songs, lighting firecrackers everywhere.

"We are happy that he was not impotent. Earlier I had a doubt whether he has sex power or not but now as Police confirmed he is good in it, I am relieved," said Pappu Pandey, devotee of Asaram Bapu.

Pappu said he tried to ask about that to Asaram Bapu whether he was straight and does have sexual power but he always avoid answering and once kicked him off while walking. Pappu is the owner of largest selling 'Musli Power Neo'.

"It is always better to have potent spiritual guru than impotent one, I really feel this from bottom of my heart," said another devotee of Asaram Bapu, Prem Chopra.

According to sources, all the devotees forgot Asaram Bapu's 14-day judicial custody in the celebration event.