Director of 104 films which include popular epics like Himmatwala, K. Raghvendra Rao was manhandled by 4 people in Hyderabad. Condition of Raghvendra Rao is serious and he is in intensive care unit in a city based hospital.

Talking to India Satire correspondent, Police Inspector G. Ramarao said "Appa Raghvendra was on a morning walk when 4 hooligans came and assaulted him like anything. They punched him, kicked him and damaged every part of his body. Initial investigation suggests that they also used wooden sticks to beat him. Currently, Rao is unconscious and we have to wait for his recovery before taking any step. However, we have successfully arrested one of those 4 guys."

According to sources, these 4 fans were great fans of Raghvendra Rao and just to show regards towards their idol, they went to watch Sajid Khan's remake of Himmatwala in a premier show. However, after finishing they came to Raghvendra Rao's bunglow immediately and waited for him to come out of his house. As soon as Rao came out for morning walk they started hitting him like anything. The source also told India Satire correspondent that the guys looked deeply frustrated, mentally damaged and insanely tortured by the film and wanted to take revenge from Raghvendra Rao for becoming Sajid Khan's inspiration for creating such stupidest movie of all time in the history of Indian cinema.

Inspector Ramarao said "I saw the movie yesterday night and I can understand mental torture these guys faced. If talking unofficially, I sincerely have done same thing and therefore I request State Government to ban this movie to avoid any further violence and forgive these 4 guys."

News Print and TV media is lobbying with jail authorities to get first hand information on activities of Sanjay Dutt whenever he lands in jail. According to sources, media persons became aggressive in scouting friendly jail authorities after Sanjay Dutt passed a statement that he would not go for pardon.

"I have got a call from Rajdeep just after Sanjay Dutt's statement came that he would not request for pardon despite social pressure on him. Rajdeep told me to collect list of all jailors, constables and sipahis of all jails in India and call them personally with request for information after Sanjay Dutt settles in jail," said Executive Editor of CNN-IBN, leading news channel in India requesting anonymity.

He said "Rajdeep Sardesai was quite enthused with an idea of showing news about Sanjay Dutt's food intake on first day and how he managed to sleep. He was interested in knowing the kind of mattress that Sanjay Dutt would get in the jail. Did he get proper furnished room with good quality mosquito repellent or he had to cope up with mosquitoes. He also wanted to get all the details about Sanjay Dutt from morning to night in jail exclusively for viewers of CNN-IBN."

Other channels such as NDTV, Aaj Tak, India TV and Times Now were also trying for getting good contacts with jail authorities.

"We are in touch with Tihar and Yerwada jail authorities along with all other major jails in India. We requested Jailors to give us a call since Sajay Dutt wakes up and goes to toilet, takes his brush and goes for bath before providing information to any other channel. We want to cover each and every activity of Sanjay Dutt to get our audience acquaintance with his daily schedule," said Pranoy Roy of NDTV.

Roy said "We also told them that we will show jailors and constables on NDTV in a new monthly review program called 'Sanjay Dutt behind the bars – Is humanity died in India?'."

According to sources, CNN IBN's Sagarika Ghose plans for different questions in her program 'Face the Nation' on issues that Sanjay Dutt would be facing in Jail.

Ghose said "I am eager to cover Sanjay Dutt's topic extensively on the channel as it is a major blow to Narendra Modi."

While many channels are aggressively bidding for a space for Sanjay Dutt in the minds of Jail Authorities, Times Now faced a major setback after Arnab Goswami called jail personnels.

Samajwadi Party Chief, Mulayam Singh Yadav demanded a special status for himself in all the CBI cases in return of his reverent support to UPA Government.

"I saw these cheat Congressis gave special status to Bihar just Nitish Kumar demanded. I also want special status for myself in solving CBI cases. The government should call me 'backward'," said Mulayam Singh Yadav in nostalgic voice.

Mulayam Singh was talking about Centre's move to grant Bihar "backward" status, after the state's Chief Minister Nitish persistently demanded it from the UPA Government.

Yadav said "He was not even supporting Congressis in FDI retail still he is getting special status. But I was more backward when I was Chief Minister last time. The government should consider my earnings in that period and my ability to create wealth and grant me a special status in all the CBI cases."

This is my first article on the India Satire and I am happy that what I want to share would be in front of all happy Indians. First of all I want to cry again over the security of my daughter in insecure Delhi.

I am also crying for Arvind Kejriwal who is on fast for reasons like higher prices for electricity and water. I am with him. I also give him my support and if he requires any help I assure that I will be there like his small sister. I also feel crying that my big brother is on fast and I can't do anything. However, I have ensured that his rally gets adequate power and water. But I don't think that more than one people would get water and food just he has started fast. I ask all Aam Aadmi Party co-workers to sit on the fast and allow other Indians to eat and drink.

I request Union Government, considering giving an honour to Kejriwal. In my dreams, I saw him getting an honour of 'Fast Bowler'. Wow, it is so sexy to call him 'Fast Bowler Arvind Kejriwal'. I have sent my recommendation to Soniaji and now it is upto her to consider it.

Indian Government dumped Mr. Joseph to below poverty line when he found standing above poverty line.

"How can he stand above poverty line when everybody in India is below poverty line?" asked Planning Commission Chief Montek Singh Ahluwalia.

Joseph who was earning around 3-4 lakh rupees per year was consistently tracked by Indian agencies such as IT Department, Planning Commission and Finance Ministry.

Ahluwalia said "It is not justifiable that most of Indians live below poverty line, how can this guy stood above the line. We therefore dumped in by increasing inflation through higher diesel prices, higher food prices and higher what not."

Finance Minister P Chidambaram said that he supported Ahluwalia this time in dumping Mr Joseph to below poverty line.

"Actually, Joseph is novice in the BPL category and therefore he is not eligible to get any BPL sops. But we let him stay in this category for 4-5 years and he would be getting sops like food security and many more," said P Chidambaram.

Government sent a congratulatory letter and momento to Joseph for entering in BPL category.

"With support of all of Indians, we will dump many more from above poverty line people to below poverty line," said Chidambaram.