Congress Party’s employment guarantee scheme and list of beneficiaries

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Saturday, 20 August 2011 | Posted in





Recently, DCFC saw an advertisement with few
esteemed personalities in the society. It was Congress Party's advertisement.







Advertisement = Please Join Congress Party





Congress Party is famous for its motherly nature and love towards its
main activists. The party never retires or dismisses its activists and always
keeps an option open even if non-performance or corruption of that activist.
The party functions like government department; always a job security and money.
Please join as a beneficiary of the working of the most motherly party in the
world.


Contact: Manish Tewari, Abhishek Manu Singhavi and Diggy Chacha













Attached is List of beneficiaries till date





Mr. Shivraj Patil:





India's former home minister, famous for changing clothes in spite of a
severe terror attack. He is a perfect role model for many Page-3 celebrities.
He was removed from the post of home minister as people and opposition felt he
was a non-performer. However, Congress party had put him an esteemed post of Governor of Punjab and Administrator of Chandigarh. He is now all set to go for Rajya Sabha elections
to back to his routine work as party feels people must have forgot everything.
Party missed him a lot during his period of struggle.





Sushilkumar Shinde:





Mr. Shinde got a great family aura (no not Auro) as like Rahul Baba
received as he born in Gandhi family and as like great A. Raja received as he
was famous Dalit leader in Tamil Nadu (though he not shifted any scam money to
any of the Dalits) when he was working for great social party DMK (no full form
is not Dr. M. Karunanidhi or Dumb M Karunanidhi).





Mr. Shinde was first Dalit chief minister in 2003 and famous for his
sloth kind of speed. Just one year back before becoming Maharashtra's chief
minister, he contested the election for the post of Vice-President of India
against the National Democratic Alliance's candidate Bhairon Singh Shekhawat
and lost. However, the party true to its words gave him much better
responsibility for money management and allowed him to be chief minister of
India's biggest state. However, he could not act properly to manage money and
then had to remove from the post and according to employment guarantee scheme
he inducted on the position of Governor of Andhra Pradesh. Thereafter, when
people forgot about his non-performance, the party allowed him to join Rajya
Sabha and gave a position of Cabinet Minister for Power, where he does not
recover to be speedy.





Vilasrao Deshmukh:





Ex-Chief minister of Maharashtra during 18 October 1999 – 16 January
2003 and 7 September 2004 – 5 December 2008. He was the most handsome and
lovable personality in the Congress party and therefore nobody in Delhi wants
to send him back to Maharashtra. Famous for accusations in some small scams
like Adarsh Housing and CWG scam, he gave his entire life very gracefully for
the Congress party. However, when he gave a "filmy" visit to Taj
Hotel, Mumbai after the terror attack attracted a lot of controversies.
Therefore, removed from the position and later immediately after 6 months with
full of mercy, the party took him as Minister of Heavy Industries and Public
Enterprises. Party thought people would have forgotten his "filmy
visit".





Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha):





He is the gem of the Congress party. He is most intelligent creature of
the universe. The party believes he is more intelligent than "Jadoo"
and also believes that he must reincarnation of Jadoo. He served to party as a
chief minister of Madhya Pradesh during 1993-2003. However, due to
non-performance and few paltry scams as per the personal views of people, the
party lost elections to non-secular BJP. Congress party offered him many
esteemed positions but he took a temporary retirement for 10 years and threw himself
in rebuilding Congress (Congress General Secretary's position) and teaching
Rahul Baba (though he humbly denies). Because of his teachings, Rahul Baba also
became the Congress General Secretary and very soon a PM of India.


His sacrifices were more than what Congress actually done to him and
therefore it tolerates all his nonsense talks. Next year, Diggy will throw
himself in the political struggle again and Party is committed to give back his
CM's seat.





Manish Tewari:





Not much to talk about him, no performance till date besides talking on
many topics. These days, he is under training of Diggy Chacha. He has been
given an esteemed position of Congress Spokesperson.





Renuka Chowdhary:





Renuka aunty is recently passed out of the rigorous training course for
becoming Professional Congress Mouthpiece with good numbers. Another wonder of
Congress' employment guarantee scheme. She lost May 2009 elections by a paltry
1.5 lakh votes and was unemployed for few days. However, party inducted her as
spokesperson. She is famous for her quotes that Rahul Baba is not parrot.





Janardan Dwivedi:





Despite a long political career, Mr. Dwivedi has to be elected through
Rajya Sabha due to no public respect. He is famous for the incidence of 6 June
2011, Dwivedi was shoed by Sunil Kumar who claimed himself as a journalist from
Jhunjhunu in Rajasthan state during a press conference in Delhi when he was
criticizing Swami Ramdev and the Bharatiya Janata Party. The incidence was also
famous for Diggy Chacha's few 4-5 kicks to Sunil Kumar after the activity.
However, Diggy Chacha humbly said that it was out of outrage came from many
people threw shoes on great politicians and to reduce worries of current
politicians.





Congress gave him the most respected position of Chairman of the Media
Department and Head Spokesperson of the Congress apart from serving as General
Secretary of the party.  


He was among the four member committee that which includes, Rahul Baba,
A.K.Antony and Ahmed Patel to look after the party affairs in Sonia Gandhi's
absence.





Abhishek Manu Singhavi:





One more person who has no respect outside the Congress Party and the
party guaranteed him the employment for life. He is a member of Rajya Sabha and
famous for giving clean chit to Dow Chemicals in spite of Bhopal Gas leak
incidence. The gas leak took lives of more than 8000 people in Bhopal. This guy
now works as a spokesperson and giving advises to Anna Hazare to stop fast
otherwise bear the brunt.





There are many beneficiaries of Congress' motherly policies. But due to
non-boasting policies of Congress Party we don't provide their names.





Please come join Congress Party




Special space for Master
Rahul Baba: Youth please come join Congress Party

“I will mug up what to say in press conference,” Aruna aunty

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in





Digvijay Singh Fan Club's (DCFC) research wing got
a copy of the conversation between great and only proclaimed social activist in
the country by Diggy Chacha in his interview against corruption Aruna Roy and
great and most intelligent person in the universe Digvijay Singh before the
press conference. The source who gave the copy told us to keep his name
anonymous.














"Diggy, I left out of entire process. It feels so irritating. Now
what would I do? Give me some advice n… you are like my younger brother,"
one lady was talking on a phone call to Diggy Chacha. Diggy Chacha is popular
for getting the phone calls from many people to share their fear and ask for
defense from Diggy Chacha Private Security Agency. In past, Diggy Chacha had
confirmed about this service by giving reference of Late. Mr. Hemant Karkare.











"Don't worry Aruna. I will look after this. You arrange a press
conference and I will tell what to speak. See Rahul Baba has already become the
heartthrob of nation by imitating my words. You also do that and everybody will
forget Anna and will take your words. Mark my words," Diggy Chacha said.
"However, one question, do you have any experience of fasting?"
Chacha asked.











"No Diggy, I had only fast on Ekadashi or Chaturthi or on Karwa
Chowth and that too are so irritating. I am planning for the Indian women to
allow them to not to fast on Karwa Chowth and will call Human Rights
Association," Aruna aunty bluntly said.





"Aruna behen, see we are talking about Anna's fast right now and
not on Karwa Chowth. I would suggest you to concentrate on the topic. See I would
email you a copy of what to say in the press conference and you will become
popular. See this will be a third Lokpal Bill which will confuse ordinary
Indian people and that too when it will come from you all socialites will
support and make a candle march," Diggy Chacha said.









"See in India, high socialite people support who is celebrity
activist and Anna Hazare is an ordinary man. So you will see your photographs
on the page 3 of great celebrity newspapers next day only," he added.
"As it is, I don't think you would like to get more famous among the
ordinary people of India," Chacha concluded his remarks.




"Thanks Diggy. Send me
the file. I will mug up," aunty said in a happiest tone of her life.





“What if I am corrupt? I still support Jan Lokpal Bill,” Yeddy Appa

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in



Former Chief Minister B S Yeddyurappa's pledge to launch a sit-in in front of the Mahatma Gandhi statue on MG Road in support of Anna Hazare's anti-corruption campaign, failed yesterday. Several speculations over the reasons reared their heads, but a few were brow raising and even bordered on hilarious.








Sources said that Yeddyurappa gave the event a miss because the low turnout, which would have given out the wrong message. Some even said that he did not want to add to the chaotic traffic situation near the venue by turning up.







Hackles were raised when Yeddyurappa, main accused in numerous graft cases, which eventually led to his ouster, announced on Wednesday that he would stage a dharna to show his solidarity to Anna Hazare.


While condemning the government for Hazare's arrest, he had said India is responding to Anna's call to eradicate corruption. "As a citizen of India it is my duty to support the cause and I will launch a dharna and urge upon the government to table an effective Lokpal bill," he had said. He added "What if I support Jan Lokpal Bill? See ideologies are different things, but karmas are different. I love to add some money to my kitty while I would like to see the nation would be corruption free."











Yeddy Appa's supporter (?) said that Appa feels corruption can be eradicated by taking strong steps. However, the supporter also said that Appa will come out clean from all the mud that Hegde threw on his face.


When DCFC reporter asked the supporter, Hegde, who is the biggest enemy of Yeddy Appa also supported the cause. He said when there is a stronger and mighty enemy, corruption, Appa will not give importance to such small things.





When asked about the BJP's refusal for Appa's protests, the supporter said "It was Nitinji who is conspiring against great Appa. He said that Nitinji felt it would have been a big joke and an embarrassment to the BJP. Senior leaders have forbidden Appa from getting involved in such things till he comes clean on corruption charges."


"What if I am corrupt? It's my fundamental right to protest against corruption," roared Yeddy Appa.









Two Gandhians march on opposite sides

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 19 August 2011 | Posted in





India is a lucky nation which has many Gandhians
who not only spread Gandhi principals but also implement themselves. Two of
them are very popular today. One is Anna Hazare, a Maharashtra born and leading
anti-corruption movement in Delhi while second a Delhite is India's future PM
and most desirable young bachelor Rahul Baba whose only objective is to reduce
pain from the UP's farmers, dalits and commonmen.





One Gandhian, Anna Hazare has moved from Maharashtra to Delhi to remove
corruption from India while other Gandhian, Rahul Baba who is not parrot
according to Renuka Chowdhary (Renuka aunty) has moved from Delhi to
Maharashtra to show some sympathy to Pune-based farmers. However, Baba was
confused for sometime whether Pune is in UP or
Maharashtra, which another Gandhian, Diggy Chacha clarified.













One Gandhian, Anna Hazare conducted fast-unto-death for pushing Lokpal
Bill to the government and after 15-days fast for Jan Lokpal Bill. Other
Gandhian, Rahul Baba arranged a foot-march (popularly called padyatra) spanning
over 70 km in hot and sultry weather conditions. During his yatra, Rahul
stopped at nearly 25 villages and spoke to villagers from about 60 villages to
discuss the issue of land acquisition by the Mayawati government.





One Gandhian, Anna Hazare went to Tihar jail to show he is very serious
about Jan Lokpal Bill, coming into lime-light and getting huge support from
Indian public. Other Gandhian, Rahul Baba made a secret visit to Pune (not in
UP but in Maharashtra) to show the sympathy to relatives of 3 villagers who
lost lives in Police firing under the state government of Congress, facing
allegations from the villagers.




Isn't Rahul Baba's question
justified, what is the benefit of name Gandhi if Anna Hazare is getting huge
support?






“Rahul Baba is not parrot,” says Renuka aunty

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in





Another mouthpiece of Congress Party who lost May
2009 elections by a marginal 1.5 lakh votes and these days unemployed, Renuka
Chowdhary (Renuka aunty) defended Rahul Baba's silence on Anna Hazare's
protest, saying the heir apparent was not a parrot to talk as per the wishes of
the media. She added it's a job of Diggy and Manish Tewari. The duty is also
comfortably fulfilled by Sibal and Chiddu.















She asked media "why do you want Rahul Baba to do all these
ordinary jobs? Now, Baba is only focused on common men, farmers and dalits.
Recently, he went on a secretive mission to Pune where people gave him a
tremendous response and said that all is well in Congress led
Maharashtra."




A source closer to Renuka
aunty said with request of anonymity "actually, Diggy Chacha is on a maun
vrata (shut-my-mouth for a week course) and selectively talks. Therefore, it
becomes difficult to make Rahul Baba ready. And after the 99% terrorist attack stopped
controversy, Diggy Chacha told him to keep his mouth shut on not understandable
issues."






What’s secret behind Rahul Baba’s secretive visit to Pune?

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in






After clarification from Universe' most intelligent and strange creature
Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) that Pune is in Maharashtra and not in UP (please
read), India's most desirable young PM, Rahul Baba asked "Now, what shall
I do? I promised the farmers, dalits and common men of India that I will
agitate for them. I think we shall call all the media people and announce my
Padyatra from Delhi to Pune. This will solve two problems; first media will
focus on me and will ignore Anna Hazare. But this time, I will go clean shave.
Second, people will come to know I always rally for farmers, dalits and common
men. And third, which is hidden is padyatra will solve long lasting digestion
problem. What do you say Diggy Chacha and Sibal Uncle?"















Most stressed out Congress men due to Congress' strange practices and
inventor of Zero loss theory, Kapil Sibal (Sibal Uncle) said "What Diggy?
You didn't tell him that Pune is in Maharashtra and Congress is a ruling party.
He will only agitate in UP or states where Congress is not a ruling party or
declined to be ruling party by people."











Diggy Chacha stared at Rahul Baba "Baba, I told you on phone that
Pune is in Maharashtra and not in UP. Now, Sibal will complain against me to
Madamji."





Rahul Baba said "yea, you told me but what about my objective that
I will serve common man of the country. Diggy Chacha, I want to become Anna
Hazare."





"Ok Sibal, we shall do one thing, we shall arrange a secret visit
of Rahul Baba to Pune so that he will be satisfied and farmers will be happy
that future PM came to meet them. We shall also take photos of Rahul Baba with
them so they can tell their grand children that met India's PM. I will tell him
not to speak anything and only show some sympathy," Diggy Chacha said.




Sibal uncle said "yea
and Indian people are focusing on Anna right now, so they will also ignore this
worthless public meet."







Changing statements Part 2: “Anna is unconstitutional,” Diggy Chacha

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 16 August 2011 | Posted in



Opening his eyes and choosing very harsh voice as like angry Rudra from a bucket of his different voice modulations, the most intelligent creature of the universe, Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) said "Who told you that I said Anna is innocent? It was just a sarcastic statement as like I made on Osamaji. Media always take me wrong and Manish has to reply for media's sins. See sarcasm is one of my many hidden qualities, which I learnt from Guru Arjun Singh".













He added "Now tell me who gave him (Hazare) the right to burn copies of the bill which has been tabled in Parliament? He should respect Saraswati Mata. In my child hood, my mummy told me that pen and paper is related to god. Ok don't yawn. I come back to topic. Was this constitutional of tearing apart the bill that India's most intelligent talent (learnt under Diggy Chacha) had prepared? The thing is that he is not fighting against corruption but doing politics, which is only our game".




Diggy Chacha further said "this guy is so arrogant that earlier I gave him a suggestion that allow young blood for fast while he should respect his old age and take a retirement. But this guy told media that I should be admitted to mental asylum. How dared he to tell that universe' best talent to admit to mental asylum".




Justifying the detention of Hazare, Diggy Chacha said "my beloved brother Suresh is in Tihar jail for what purpose just using his rights as a minister. He is such an innocent kid. Osamaji, why did he kill in spite of being innocent person. However, Annaji is indulging in activities, which can make law and order situation can go out of control."





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