3.45 am Just woke up after long work till 12 am. "The office is so messy as like Indian economy. Fortunate Subbarao who left this mess created by few stupid political economists," Raghuram Rajan found telling the sweeper who came to clean up the mess. He muttered "I felt like the sweeper."

4.00 am Started working on various calculations again. "Can't help yaar! If I reduce the rates economy will see higher inflation and falling rupee. If I don't cut, industry will kill me, Chiddu will blame me. Fu*k so difficult situation," said Rajan to himself.

4.30 am "Larry Summers you are a lucky chap boss. People threw you out of US Fed Gov race. Wow," said Rajan again to himself.

4.30am to 6.30am continuously scrolling the papers

7.30 am Finance Minister P Chidambaram's call. "Rajan, today I woke up early at 7.15 am despite late night party, just to tell you that I am very concerned about faltering growth, rising prices and falling rupee. So boss, buck up and make some smart policy announcement. Cut repo rate by 150 bps, remove crr and some more stupid rates, late the inflation sky rockets to increase wealth of poor farmers and allow rupee to reach its century mark so that we can award it a Bharat Ratna," said Chidambaram on the phone.

8.00 am Rajan got another call. However, nobody spoke for 15 minutes. "It must be PM's phone discussing about the economic situation through mute mode," said security guard of Rajan.

9.30 am "Rajan Uncle, Rajan Uncle please keep the policy pro poor. So I will be able to say aam aadmi of India that even RBI was told to supply free money to you guys. My suggestions are no interest rate to 80 crore Indian poor while increasing interest rates for rest by 100 times. We can also announce 'Money on Demand' scheme under which they would have right to demand money from bank anytime even they don't have anything in their account," said Rahul Gandhi who woke up early in the morning to send his suggestions to Rajan.

10.30 am A call from some Pappu Pandey, original representative of aam aadmi of India which includes urban, rural middle class and person who bears the brunt most out of economic slowdown as well as high inflation. He said "Sorry Rajanji, I disturbed you in the midst of work on the most influential policy statement for us. I was actually trying to call you since you inducted as RBI Governor but with no success. I have a sincere request to you that right now I don't have any money in my pocket to distribute freely among 80 crore people of India. Neither my income is rising nor are the prices stabilizing. So a sincere request that if you postpone the growth for a while and allow me to purchase daily essential food and become stronger to be more productive then it would be great service for us. I ensure you that if you allow me to become stronger I will not have any problem contributing for the growth of rest 80 crore people."

11.00 am Policy statement released. MSF reduced by 75bps, no CRR cut and Repo Rate hiked by 25bps. Focus on curtailing retail inflation which hurts most to middle class population.

11.25 am "Market has termed RBI's monetary policy as a pro-middle class," Media "First time in the history any of India's RBI Governor gave importance to consumer price index (CPI inflation)."

Indian matrimonial sites such as shaadi.com, bharatmatrimony.com and jeevansaathi.com are planning to offer free health insurance coverage to bride and groom. The offers will be a part of completing entire range of marriage related services.

"Health insurance is a byproduct of marriage and it is must required for both the bride and the groom," said Anupam Mittal of shaadi,com who is in talks with Reliance General Insurance for offering free health insurance scheme.

Experts said that the matrimonial sites are going to cover the married couple from the harmful impacts of marriage. The harmful impacts are out of rising tensions, ego problems and various other factors which create issues between the couple. According to few surveys, there is hardly any happily married couple found.

"This is a welcome step and I believe that it would be life saver too. Had it been with me 30 years back I would have got the greatest of treatments on my health after nuisance created by my wife. But doesn't matter, my son will use it," said Akhilesh Yadav, a resident of Lucknow who is willing to marry again if the facility is provided for his age.

According to sources, the government is planning to add a slogan with matrimonial sites that 'marriages are injurious to health'.

According to sources, Telecom Minister Kapil Sibal's wife threw him out of his house for entire night yesterday on burning issue of onion prices. The sweeper of Kapil Sibal's home said that Sibal was thrashed, slapped hard and punched before thrown out of house by his wife.

"Yesterday evening when Kapil Sibal came from his court hearings and party meetings, Promilaji (his wife) questioned him over rising onion prices. But Kapil Saahib said her that he is not the right authority to discuss on food prices, particularly onion prices. Those matters should be directly discussed with onion traders as the government has privatized onion selling many years back. When Promilaji told him that her housing budget has been squeezed for past few days because of continuous rise in onion prices, Sibal Saahib said that the government doesn't sell onions, it only sells Akash Tablets and food grains such as rice, wheat and daal at Rs1, 2 and 3 per kg, respectively. So stop asking these sorts of fucking questions and go to onion traders and ask them directly," said Kisanchand Yadav, a sweeper who was privy to the entire event.

Yadav said "Promilaji immediately slapped on Sibal Saahib's face, punched him hard on his mouth and asked him to leave immediately. She held him with his collar and told him that he could be a big hypocrite politician outside her house but inside she is Soniaji. Then she kicked him hard and threw out of house and told him stay here for entire night. Don't show me your bloody arrogant face again."

According to sources which include security guard, Kapil Sibal spent entire night sleeping on the staircase of house like a poor innocent kid. However, in the morning as soon as his road to enter in the house was cleared by his wife, he changed his innocent kid like face into same arrogant and careless politician.

After disastrous Devdas, Saawariya and Guzaarish, few people in India still showed their willingness to watch Sanjay Leela Bhansali's (SLB) new movie 'Ram Leela'. People in India advocated their decisions using varied justifications. Though all of them are convinced that SLB's movies are sheer bullshit but still they want to watch his new venture.

Reasons

¨       Like to watch bullshit so that criticizing and abusing SLB gives great satisfaction

¨       Wants to see how a guy wastes huge money on the sets while actors and actresses behave like dumb spectators in the movie

¨       Wants to see how SLB trashes some original sensible story, plot and direction

¨       Still have some hopes from him

¨       Wants to watch sets and colours; who cares about story and direction

¨       Sometimes likes to cry and abuse self for making same stupidity

¨       Like to see creation of depressed and sadist person

¨       Feels like intellectual and can discuss on what SLB wanted to talk about in the movie

¨       Like to waste some time because girlfriend / wife / mummy likes it

As spiraling food prices are burning pockets of Indians, particularly middle class unlike to poor class which has availability of cheap and free good food, the UPA Government has asked Reserve Bank of India (RBI) to work out on 'loan for food' scheme. The government said that it was unwilling to take any steps to contain food inflation as rising food prices are good for farmers. Therefore the government has decided to open a new window of loan so that Indian working class can buy food like onion, tomatos, etc. by borrowing money from banks.

"We asked RBI Governor Raghuram Rajan to work on such a formula," said India's Finance Minister P Chidambaram.

The RBI currently is working on funding for lending scheme under which it would ask banks to offer auto and housing loans at cheaper rates. On the same lines, the government has asked RBI to study the similar kind of model in food sector.

"We asked RBI to work on micro-financing model in the food sector. So if somebody wants to buy 2 kg tomatos, he can go to bank and demand loan by merely submitting his PAN card or income proof. PAN card or income proof is required for recognizing the borrower as a middle class. We have also asked RBI to keep interest rates modest at 12 odd percent per annum," said Chidambaram.

Chidambaram, however, said that the interest rates would be higher on premium products like onion so that the middle class would not waste the precious product. Recently, onion prices rose by 254% putting itself in the bracket of precious commodities like gold, silver and platinum.

Chidambaram said "We are fairly optimistic about loan for food scheme. Now even middle class people will be able to include onion in their daily meal. That is the UPA government's inclusive policy."