TOP STORY - POLITICS
Association plans to take benefit of new wave of the popularity of Item Girls
Item Girls Association (IGA) plans to announce its nominee for the President of India's poll and demanded a whole hearted support from all the members of Parliment. "We have capable candidates which can really perform entertaining tasks for audience of India. While we saw India's President hardly works and generally visits different countries in the world, we decided to better our own candidate which at least will give some fun to India's population," said Katrina Kaif, Chief of IGA.She said "Day-by-day parliamentary sessions are becoming boring and weird, the boring sessions start with President's speech. Our proposal is that one of the item girls of Bollywood who would be President of the nation will dance along with giving a speech."
IGA members include big stalwarts like Katrina Kaif, Rakhi Sawant, Malaika Arora Khan, Payal Rohatgi and Mallika Sherawat among many other Indian and foreign item dance performers.
Item dance is performed on a stage or in a big mob by a specialist female dancer who generally wears small hanky or even tissue paper size clothes, which makes easy to shake their most attractive parts of body.
Admitting to the deteriorating situation of India is out of dryness in the performance of President.
"We shall add some spices to the performance. Hamare yaha pe to English me baat karnewali item girls bhi hai. Katty to British English me baat karti hai," said Rakhi Sawant, a prominent member of IGA.
While the nomination of candidature is not yet decided, sources close to India Satire correspondent said that a series of 'cat fights' are expected before the announcement. The competition between the members is so steep that while Katrina Kaif was explaining on why they want to file for nominations, Rakhi Sawant disturbed her, shouting at top of her lungs.
However, Katrina handled the situation and said "You see, our politicians are indulged in selecting candidates based on caste, religion, creed and sex. So we concentrated on 'sex' and thought we, too, must have reservations, virtually though, for this post. If anyone can get it, then why can't we. After all we are also working for the betterment of society, especially for men."
And they spoke for a long time, but all everyone remembers is the little show down by all Item girls at end; shaking and grooving few steps.
The event gave enough excuse for creation a pandemonium in the Lok and Rajya sabha, enough to abrupt the day's proceedings and gives the media topic for synthetic tete-a-tete.
A senior leader of Congress Party, Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) said, "It's actually the best day of democracy, because, everybody has right to contest, with or without credentials! We are happy to have them and we are already in talks with them to pursue them to join our party."
Sources said that the statement also created fireworks between Diggy Chacha and Rahul Gandhi (Rahul Baba). According to sources, while Rahul Gandhi was not very eager to have item girls for President's post, Diggy Chacha was very much enthusiastic.
Giving a reference to a phone call, the source told that on that evening, Diggy Chacha got a call from Rahul Baba, who scolded for making such irresponsible statements, for which he replied, "Rahul Baba, now as you are going to become Prime Minister in 2014, I expect you to become a bit mature!! When the hell will you learn some sensible politics!! Look, if we have them in our party, they will give shows everywhere we campaign, and it will garner huge public, this will in turn increase our vote share and help us win elections!!!"
"Oops! I am such a big fool yaar!! Diggy Chacha, you have mindboggling brain, Mummy!! I don't wanna be in politics!! I should have passed my degree, at least from IIPM!! They would and will have never denied a fool like me", Rahul Baba murmured to himself in despair.(Story was contributed by Special Correspondent Bedardi Raja) 
