Team Anna slammed Annan for quitting as international peace envoy for Syria

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 3 August 2012 | Posted in ,

TOP STORY - POLITICS, WORLD
Asked him to sit on the fast for few days and help world solve Syria issue
Team Anna which recently called off its fast, when the Indian ministers were busy watching Olympics and having some re-shuffling of ministry for some time pass, slammed Kofi Annan, former U.N. Secretary and peace envoy for Syria for quitting from his efforts halfway and asked him to seat on a fast to resolve the trouble on the world.
"This was totally irresponsible step by Kofi Annan. We don't have issue if he had left 2 months back, but while using Anna's name he had to show some bit of persistency and could have seat on the fast at least few days," said Arvind Kejriwal.
Kofi Annan announced he was quitting as international peace envoy for Syria, frustrated by "finger-pointing" at the United Nations while the armed rebellion against President Bashar al-Assad becomes increasingly bloody.
Anna Hazare said in the crowd "Ye nahi chalega. Syria ko peace milnaa chaahiye hamaari jaano ke upar bhi. By the way where is Syria? I believe must be near Chennai. Nahi Coffee Anna aap ko fir se khadaa honaa hoga, ladnaa hogaa. Fast kiske liye hota hai… kijiye, fir dekhiye kaise Syria waala nahi suntaa. Mein bhi aata hu aapko support dene."
Anna Hazare's announcement received a tremendous response and ye ye from the crowd.
"Aap logo kaa support hoga saath me to hum Anna ko bachaa sakte hai aur usko bol sakte hai… ki tum lado hum tumhaare saath hai…. Bolo mein Coffee Anna hu," said Anna Hazare
Team Anna leader Kiran Bedi asked Kofi Annan to take some lessons from Anna Hazare and not avoid bashing on Bashar issue of Syria.
"Kofi, you are using Anna's name and still without having fast at least for one day, how can you quit? Kofi tum politics bhi join karne ke laayak nahi ho," said Kiran Bedi.
However, Congress Party cleaned its own hands from this issue. It said that this is diverting Indians from the major issue like corruption.
Information and Broadcasting Minister Ambika Soni said "Annaji should focus on removing corruption. Why is he unnecessarily drawing himself into troublesome issues like world politics and Syria rebel? This is just diverting himself from the major issue like India's corruption and dirty politics."
Anna Hazare said on the issue "Coffee Anna should get the real right of what he was demanding. We shall start with Syria first and we shall deploy our representatives in the next Gram Panchayat elections of Syria."
India Satire correspondent tried to reach to the Kofi Annan for his reaction, but he was unavailable to comment.

Mahesh Bhupathi said next time Olympics he would pair up with Paes to bring medal home

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 1 August 2012 | Posted in


NEWS IN BRIEF - OLYMPICS
Sania Mirza will play with both in mixed doubles
Mahesh Bhupathi promised his fans that in his next Olympics he would pair up with Leander Paes and would bring a gold medal, after both the players lost their respective doubles tennis matches in the London Olympics.

"Hey boss! Actually we thought that if we play with other partners, India would have secured one gold medal and one silver medal. But now looking at the results I want to say neither we got gold nor silver, and even we could not qualify for bronze medal," said Mahesh Bhupathi.
He confirmed that the strategy was fallen apart, as their partners were totally ridiculous play and insult to the World Tennis.
He said "Yes guys in spite of creating so much rhetoric and making so much of claims we lost and we also understood that it would be better that if we play together. Yesterday, after Paes lost his match I suggested him to pair up with me in next Olympics and Sania will play with both of us which would easily secure at least 3 medals, two golds and one silver for India. He happily agreed to my proposal."

Team manager- Hockey team could have scored at least 21 more goals against Kiwis, if strategies would not have leaked

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


NEWS IN BRIEF - OLYMPICS
Gagan Narang may join the team as a goal keeper cum goal shooter
Indian Hockey Team manager Shrikant Iyengar told media that the hockey team could have scored 21 more goals against New Zealand, if the strategy was not leaked before the match started.

“Actually, we planned that everybody in Indian team, including our goal keeper would score at least two goals against New Zealand showing them the real clout of India. However, somebody leaked the strategy and Kiwis just blocked every player, excluding goal keeper before reaching their D,” Shrikant Iyengar told special India Satire Correspondent in London.
Earlier before the tournament, India Satire covered a storythat Indian team would allow only attacking players to reach to goal post. However, the strategy was changed mean time.
He said “We are actually called an inquiry to know who leaked our strategies.”
There were rumors that the Indian team is planning to invite Gagan Narang as a goal keeper so that he can shoot the ball from his hockey stick directly goes inside the goal post of other team, to at least win next few matches.
Iyengar told correspondent “Yes we are in talks with Narang. As soon as he finishes his 50m pistol stuffs, he would join us as a goal keeper come ball shooter. This will solve our serious problem that all the team players are not able to reach to the goal posts of the opposite team.”
Shrikant Iyengar also slammed on the criticisms made by Coach Michael Nobbs and said “Before signing a contract with him we made him clear that our team likes king size performance so that he should ensure us that everybody in the team would get chance to score at least 2 goals and  22 goals in a match.”

Virat Kohli said he would hit hat trick of centuries against Sri Lanka

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


NEWS IN BRIEF - SPORTS
He said not every time this kind of pitch and bowlers get, England, Aussie pitches are fucking backward
Virat Kohli confirmed that he is looking for a hat-trick of centuries in Sri Lanka, as favorable pitches and bowlers are hardly available elsewhere.

"Yes I would certainly want to ensure third century for India, as good pitches and helpful bowlers are unavailable elsewhere in the world, apart from India," said Virat Kohli to India Satire sports correspondent.
He told correspondent that he is in a hurry and if there had been 20 ODIs he would have scored at least 18 centuries.
He said Pitches are mind blowing here and bowlers also are very much supportive to guests.
"We should learn from them how to give respect to guests," told Kohli.
"Watch Malinga, he doesn't set an aim to bowl on a particular place. He can bowl at anywhere on the pitch, undecided," informed Kohli.
However, Kohli slammed Australia, South Africa and England for their unfriendly behavior towards World Cricketers.
He said "Aussie, Kiwis and Africans suck yaar. They are so backward in their thinking and lacks professionalism. These countries provide really useless pitches which were used at the time of bodyline matches. I really feel that Team India should only visit, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal, for their professionalism."

Inside heart, Sushil Kumar Shinde showed outrage on his new job of Home Ministry

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

To Faces of Sushil Kumar Shinde

NEWS IN BRIEF- POLITICS
Ex-Power Minister found the new job less lucrative and more of headache
While P Chidambaram showed his happiness from heart to stomach, Sushil Kumar Shinde gave a pinch of smile while thanking Sonia Gandhi and Senior Congress leaders on saving him from the big power crisis that happened for last 3-4 days.

Sources said from inside, Sushil Kumar Shinde was not very happy to find such a high-voltage work and raised his voice and showed outrage inside his heart.
"WTF yaar! Who would like to handle to Bodo Naxalists, Maoists and Pakistani Terrorists? I will also come on the radar of many idiot satirists. Lucrative bunch of bucks from the different power projects and every next 2 days slapping Coal India's chairman was a real treat for life. Life sucks now onwards," said Sushil Kumar Shinde muttered inside his heart, while smiling (mischievously) in front of Sonia Gandhi.

Power restored in Northern India ahead of Rahul Gandhi's visit to Allahabad

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


NEWS IN BRIEF - POLITICS
Party said wherever Rahul goes light come
Northern region finally saw electricity was restoredagain and they can take some fresh air for breathing these days. However, Congress Party promoted this event as Rahul Gandhi came and light on.

"Wherever Rahul Baba plans to go light automatically comes. Or even it is not exaggeration to say it's his light that brightened whole of Northern Region," said Uttar Pradesh Congress Committee President Rita Bahuguna Joshi addressing a press conference ahead of Rahul's visitto Allahabad.
Rita Bahuguna Joshi is considered as a strongest candidate for Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh when party will contest UP Elections in 2017.
She said "It was horrible situation for last 3-4 days in Uttar Pradesh. But see God's sake, as Rahul Baba announced his visit to Allahabad he switched on the power connection."
While his programme was unclear, she said whatever he does is something special and therefore we like to keep it surprise.

Narendra Modi said 'Hang me if you find out one single black hair on head and beard'

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


NEWS WIRE - POLITICS; WAR FOR ELECTIONS 2014
Gujarat Chief Minister and BJP's strongest candidate for Prime Minister, Narendra Modi roared again in line with his last statement. He said "Find out a single black hair on my head or hang me."

Narendra Modi's reaction came after Congress Senior Leader Digvijay Singh claimed "Modi kaa baal baal anti secular hai."

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